I call them social-justice assholes. They’re like virtue signalers, like white guilt. White guilt is how I like to describe them. They’re so opposed to what’s happening, they have to be the loudest voice in the room and are making themselves look like assholes. Dude, it’s crazy. It’s crazy what they believe. And that’s what it is. 100%.

At Dom Com, Mistress Cyan has become one of my biggest supporters to date.

I got invited by Mistress Porcelain and this is four or five years ago now. And during the time of that invite, I was going through these accusations, the ones that are in the book. And I don’t know if we’ve talked about them or through them at length, but they’re accusations of me acting like a demigod, evil rapist, and a murderer.

So I ended up talking to my daughter about the accusations, and it was kind of intense. How do you tell your daughter about someone who accused your dad says of being a rapist. And then to tell them that this person is saying it out of anger because they didn’t get what they wanted from me. Right? And how could I expect her to take that at face value when, as a woman, she deals with that shit all the time.

Dealing with these accusations has been extremely stressful, from the first time until the latest time that it has come up. These conversations have been really intense. So I spoke with her about it, both the book and the accusations. She has asked about it and so I told her. And now that I am talking about it, it seems kind of wild, talking to your daughter about being accused of rape. Wow

That in and of itself is stressful, no one even talks about that part. So anyway, where we? What was I just talking about?

(Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. That’s really intense, because it sucks me into the reality of it and it really makes me lose my train of thought.) 

Social justice, that’s it.

We have had a few opportunities to address the lack of social justice, of transformative justice, this idea of something positive coming from the negative. Justice, as opposed to things driven by emotions.

During BBM (Bears, Bikers and Mayhem), we had a brother by the name of Master Eli deal with these sorts of accusations

Earlier, they had initially “addressed” it on a community level where other leather families sat and discussed the idea of resolution. Nothing came of it. Master Eli is a leather brother. And after no real resolution, someone else kicked it up again now, about a year later.

So now what we are trying to do is create a platform, a group of dominants and submissives from each of five leather families

Leather brother. They attempted to come to a resolution before, but then someone else kicked it back up a year later, which is what is being dealt with now. Now we are looking to create a platform so that cases can be heard by dominants and submissives from each of committed leather families that will sit and converse with the both accused and the accuser to come to a resolution around what happened and how can it be resolved.

Like the Council of Elders, these people to be selfless. Right? They will be giving time to the community to listen, to make sure everyone is kept safe. These will be volunteers. And for folks who aren’t used to that shit, it will be a big deal of investing time to make sure we keep our community safe. The idea is for our community to be self-sustaining .

There are claims that the community polices their own, but I don’t see a lot of policing.

No, no there’s no policing. Dom Com was an amazing trip. What was tough is I met a woman out there who had her consent violated and she didn’t know what to do. And it was pretty intense. So I walked her through our own Kink Collective community conduct policy that we follow and I was able to put her through the quote “process” of what it means to listen to a victim, hold space for a victim, and then to pursue the next steps, to include asking her what would feel like a justified resolution to her. And that was having the person who violated her consent understand what she did and the severity of it. And if she understood the severity of it, she would feel just in the process. We’re in the process now with Mistress Cyan and Dom Com to work through all that stuff, but there’s a process. There’s levels to this shit.

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