For the last couple of years, I’ve been on a journey, trying to establish BDSM as a form of therapy. Not just therapeutic, as in what happens in the body, but in the actual healing of trauma by reframing or reliving and then re-engaging it. That’s the therapeutic element of it.

But to work up to it, you have to do something. You have to build on that, and that building is the foundation of the connection. The connection we create with our clients is the same as that which therapists create with their patients.

There are issues with ethics when looking at the difference between professional domination and licensed therapy. Therapists have stricter guidelines for how they are allowed to interact with patients. In BDSM, we can talk and share personal things from our side in order to relate or empathize. We also engage in power exchange, as well as overt direction and physical touching. These kinds of interchanges usually overstep the ethical line for licensed professionals. I only speak of the differences because there are strengths and weaknesses in both approaches.

Through my 10 years of professional domination, what I’ve realized is that healing comes within the space we create for the clients. This space allows them to self-actualize by speaking their truths and heal by being validated just for existing. This validation shows them that talking about how they really feel will not cause them any harm.

When they are able to say to themselves, “I’m okay just the way I am”, that is healing. It’s a process to get to that because we don’t all start off confident. But we can start by acknowledging the things and abilities we have confidence in. And if its task related, there is something that we can start with

All of it relates to personal development and healing. How we look at ourselves, to reflect and say, “how can we be better with ourselves, for ourselves, and for the community?”

 

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